Showing posts with label counselling. Show all posts

Accepting Loss in Grief Counselling

This is a guest post by Marie Miguel. Marie has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression. This is an advertorial. 

Loss is painful 


When you lose someone you love, it's a painful experience. Death can come as a shock, even if you're expecting a loved one to die. Whether you lose a parent to old age or a friend dies in an accident, those feelings of loss are powerful and real. You may feel powerless, sad, scared to accept the truth, or angry at death. These are all valid emotions, and ones that you can talk about in grief counselling. But, grief counselling isn't just about a loved one passing away; it's about so much more.

What is grief counselling?

Grief counselling is a form of mental health treatment where you discuss the loss. It doesn't only involve death. You can lose many things in life besides a loved one. When people lose their jobs, it's painful. Going through a divorce is traumatic. In grief counselling, you cope with many sorts of loss, including emotional, physical, spiritual, or social. When a loved one dies, it hurts. You miss that person, dearly. You may experience similar feelings when a relationship ends, or you miscarry a baby. These are different kinds of losses and ones that a grief counsellor understands.

How grief counselling works

A big part of grief counselling is learning to confront that trauma and move through it. When someone dies, or you lose something in your life abruptly, it's traumatic. It's common to get stuck in a holding pattern of sadness. It's natural to feel paralyzed by grief, but it doesn't have to be that way. Loss is a part of life, and it's painful, but there are ways we can learn to cope with it. When a person feels like they're having trouble functioning in their daily life because of grief, they could benefit from grief counselling. A counsellor will help the client learn coping skills to deal with loss. They will support the person in processing what they've been through and encouraging them to learn to care for themselves.

The stages of grief

Elizabeth Kubler Ross is known for identifying the stages of grief. She worked with patients that were terminally ill and helped them learn to cope with the harsh reality that they were dying. The stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These patients learned that they were dying and had a hard time coping with it at first. Over some time, as they moved through the various stages of grief, they came to accept it. After some time, the Kubler Ross model was adapted. Now it's used for people who are coping with the loss of a loved one. Grief counsellors reference the stages of grief to guide people through the grieving process.

Complicated grief 


Approximately 15 per cent of people who have lost someone they love experience "complicated grief." That's a form of grieving that lasts for a year or longer. When you are feeling this way, it's crucial to seek mental health support. Grief counsellors know what it's like to have trouble letting go of a loss. It can feel nearly impossible to get through these painful feelings, but there's a definitive way to process them - confronting the emotions in counselling.

Do you need grief counselling?

You may be wondering if grief counselling is necessary for you. Here are some reasons to consider seeking grief counselling: 

You have recently lost a loved one
A pet has died
Job loss
Divorce
Grieving is lasting a year or more and not getting better
Grief is getting in the way of enjoying life

These are just some reasons to consider choosing grief counselling. Grief is a part of life, but it doesn't have to dominate your days. You can learn to cope with loss, and begin to heal by seeking professional help. Grief counsellors are sensitive and caring individuals who understand that it's not easy to face a loss. You can take your time speaking about what or who you've lost and reach a place of peace. It's possible to heal from grieving if you allow yourself to seek support.

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The Benefits Of Family Counselling

Family counselling or family therapy is a type of therapy where family members meet with a therapist or counsellor to resolve conflict. 

Conflict arises in all families but when the conflict can't be resolved then it's definitely time to seek help. 

Why is there conflict?


Family life isn't all a bunch of roses and families don't always wake up smiling. Conflict can occur and conflict can arise for many reasons. 

The main issues with family life occur after important life events and changes in life.  Families are ever evolving so it's important to build effective coping mechanisms to deal with life changes. 

Life events like a new baby, a death in the family, moving home and divorce can cause problems in family life.

Other changes like a change of school, or job, starting university, redundancy, unemployment, sibling conflict or difficulties in adjusting to a stepfamily can all cause conflict too. 

Trust issues can also cause big problems in family life and the reasons why this is an issue needs to be discussed.

Maybe one person in the family is causing all the problems, has a dysfunctional way of dealing with stress, and if so then this needs to be addressed.

Check out this post for more reasons why you may need family counselling. 

Coping mechanisms 


If you don't talk about issues in family life then the conflict can get worse, leading to disagreements, arguments, and fighting. This could even lead to physical abuse at an extreme level. 

Another way of dealing with conflict can be avoidance. This could be as simple as working extra hours, spending longer at the gym, and playing computer games all day, to avoidance through substance or alcohol abuse, where feelings and emotions can be blunted. 

Learning to deal with disagreements in an acceptable way is an important part of family counselling. 

How can family counselling help?

Family counselling as a unit is important as it encourages talking therapy. It can help people hear each other's point of view. Each member of a family will have different perspectives on why there are issues due to their age and their role in the family and it's important that each person is really listened to.  

A family counsellor or therapist is the facilitator in the counselling session and can help families understand where their issues come from and help find a solution to problems in the family unit. A family counsellor is non-judgmental and a session is a safe environment and everything is confidential.

The benefits of family counselling


As well as learning to listen to others, and come to a resolution to a particular problem, family counselling can help teach better ways to communicate in general. Rather than 'bottling up' emotions or avoiding problems, better ways to communicate are suggested and practised.

It can also help increase self-awareness and understanding of each person's role in a family. Parent/child relationships can be strengthened as well as a couple's relationship too. 

Conclusion

Don't leave it too late to seek family counselling, as family relationships are so important and leaving major issues unresolved can cause problems for years to come.

Family counselling does cost money but if your family is on the verge of a breakdown it's surely worth the expense.

Let me know, would you consider family counselling?

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How Much Does Couples Counselling Cost?

If you having marital or relationship difficulties most couples start looking at ways to resolve this, especially if they want their relationship to last. When you have difficulty in communicating, couples counselling can really help. However, couples counselling does cost. Let's have a look at what is couples counselling therapy and the cost implications of couples counselling, both emotionally and financially.

Couples Counselling Therapy



Couples counselling therapy is a proven long term solution to relationship difficulties and research into couples counselling have shown it to be highly effective.  

Couples counselling therapy is where a couple or individual as part of a couple seek a therapeutic environment facilitated by a trained counsellor. Counselling can happen either in person, in a session with parties being present or online. 

I've written a number of posts on couples counselling and being trained as a Registered Mental Nurse, with over 12 years of experience in a ward setting, I know the power of talking therapies. Couples counselling encourages the couple to talk about their problems and work through their issues in a safe environment.

Couples counselling, however, does have cost implications, emotional and financial so let us have a look at these.

The Cost Implications Of Having Couples Counselling


The average cost of a couples counselling session in the UK, according to the relationship charity Relate, is around £50, so it's not cheap. A trained couples counsellor should have a qualification in counselling or psychotherapy at a minimum and these qualifications cost money. Having this training means they are in demand and can set their own charges. Also setting up an office, and advertising means overheads that have to be paid for, all effectiving the cost of a session.

A way of keeping costs down is to see an online counsellor. An online counsellor typically won't have the overheads of a counsellor with an office on the high street. Of course, you need to ensure that they have the relevant qualifications still so it's important to check those out thoroughly but using an online counsellor like this can save you money as well as providing more flexibility, privacy and accessibility. It's definitely an option worth exploring. 

The Cost Implications Of Not Having Couples Counselling  



There are financial and emotional implications of not having couples counselling as well.  

You may end up spending more money on activities and holidays together in the hope that this will work in strengthening the relationship when if the real issues aren't addressed it will mean that you are simply ignoring the problems. 

If your relationship does break down then this could mean a change of housing, moving costs, and financial costs that come with that. Maintenance may need to be paid and child support. If a relationship does break down, couples counselling can still be used to amicably settle child maintenance issues and visiting rights.

Emotionally, a relationship breakdown or divorce can cause depression, anxiety and sleepless nights. It can affect your self-esteem and confidence and make you feel worthless and despondent. If children are involved, a relationship breakdown can emotionally affect the children too and the relationship they have with each parent. 

When you look at the costs of not having coupes counselling then you can see investing money and time in this therapy can really help and possibly save a relationship.  If you do go to couples counselling I wish you all the best and hope you can resolve your difficulties.

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Should You Consider Premarital Counselling Therapy?

Premarital counselling is becoming more popular in this day and age, but what exactly is premarital counselling and should you consider premarital counselling therapy?


What is premarital counselling therapy?

Premarital counselling therapy is suitable for anyone that is in a relationship that is not yet married but thinking of getting engaged or has become engaged. Premarital counselling gives you the chance to talk over issues that have come up or may come up in a relationship, the big important questions, and the smaller less so ones too. It is especially good where you have differing views. 

What sort of things can you discuss?

There usually are important questions you need to discuss especially so when you are thinking of getting married. You may have already discussed some of these but clarifying where you stand is a great idea.  These questions can relate to having children, religion, finances and careers for example. 

Some big questions




It's important to know where you and your partner stand on some of the big questions in life.


  • If you don't have children, do you want children? If you can't have children would you adopt or foster?
  • Do you share the same religion? If not could it be a problem and what will you do about it?
  • Who is financially responsible for certain bills? Will you have a shared bank account? Is the other person in any debt? If they are in debt, what are they doing about it?
  • Do you have any issues with the other persons family or friends? If so, can you look at ways to resolve this?
  • Are you happy in your jobs, would you move if you had to for work?
  • Where do you stand on politics and if you support different parties can you agree to disagree?


These questions are useful as a starting point.  Being open and honest at this important point in your relationship will lay the ground for a healthy relationship longterm. Premarital counselling can help resolve issues before they become a problem.

What does it cost?




Costs are per session and vary according to the practitioner. Often weekly sessions are agreed and 8 weeks is a typical plan, however, this varies according to need.  Typical costs in the UK can be £40-£60 a session.  

However, if you do not discuss these issues prior to marriage that the premarital counselling cost can be more than the monetary value and can impact on the relationship. Couples who do not talk, and work out their problems are less likely to stay together. In counselling therapy, you have the opportunity to talk and really listen to your partner, with the counsellor providing support and using appropriate questioning to help you come to resolutions together,  and that can only be a good thing.

Online counselling can be a cost-effective way of having premarital counselling but don't forget to check the qualifications of the counsellor. In the UK, look for someone that has had the relevant training and is a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) or the National Counselling Society (NCS).


Would you use premarital counselling? What do you think of talking therapies?

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Can Marriage Or Relationship Counselling Help Us?

Marriage or relationship counselling can be a great help if you are going through problems in your relationship. To get to the point of needing this type of counselling often takes some soul searching in the first place and admitting that there is a problem is a step in the right direction.  Once that is done then counselling can really help. Here are some reasons why marriage or relationship counselling can help you both.

1. When arguments are getting frequent



If you notice that there is a lot of conflict happening in a relationship and when arguments are getting more frequent and becoming difficult to resolve then having an impartial third party there to air your disputes can help. Sometimes during a conflict, one person can blank the other one, say hurtful things, or even become aggressive. Relationship counselling can help deal with these issues.

2. When communication is a problem

As well as conflict, communication can be a problem if you feel like no one is listening to you, or you feel ignored.  Maybe you feel like your partner isn't talking to you and they won't open up. When communication is a problem, having a safe and trusting environment as you do a marriage or relationship counselling session, can really help people open up and talk. This is when online therapy can help. Online therapy is for everyone and can be amazing if you cannot find resources in your area that provide a specific type of therapy.

3. When there is a trust issue

If there has been a trust issue, for example, an affair, lies about something or deception about money, then trust may be broken and may be difficult to build back up. A skilled marriage or relationship counsellor can help you work through these issues and help rebuild trust.  

4. When there is something you need to tell the other person

In a safe and supportive environment of a marriage or relationship counselling session, you may feel that you can tell the other person the thing that has been worrying you. A counsellor can help you deal with any fallout from this. 

5. When you've gone through a trauma or loss



If you have gone through something that is traumatic and it had affected your relationship then relationship counselling can really help.  In life, sometimes devastating things happen, such as the death of a child, a diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, or a car accident that has affected your health.  Maybe you have lost a job and been unemployed for a long time, or your family have disowned you. There are many reasons for trauma or loss and when it affects how you communicate as a couple then its time to seek help.

6. When intimacy is gone

If you feel no spark any more, maybe you've slowly grown apart, then marriage counselling can help. It can help you reevaluate your relationship and allow you to talk about this problem.  Marriage counselling can help you prioritise time together, whether you have problems with physical or emotional intimacy. 

7. When patterns of behaviour are difficult

If you feel the other person behaves in a difficult way, perhaps they drink too much, they don't help with childcare or chores around the house, maybe they don't accept a step-child, or they behave disrespectfully towards relatives then these are issues that can cause resentment. Relationship counselling can put a spotlight on these dysfunctional patterns of behaviour, look at the reasons why and see if there are ways of changing.

As you can see marriage or relationship counselling can really help strengthen a relationship and even be a catalyst in preventing divorce.  Read more about marriage counselling in this article Confidentiality - should I seek marriage counselling near me.

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