How to Talk to Teachers About Your Child’s Needs

When your child needs extra support at school – whether academically, emotionally or socially – knowing how to approach their teachers can make all the difference. Open and collaborative communication with educators helps ensure your child’s needs are understood and addressed effectively. Here’s how to approach those important conversations, inspired by the teachings of this private school in West London.

1. Prepare Ahead of Time

Before speaking to your child’s teacher, take time to gather your thoughts. Note down any specific concerns you have – for example, difficulty with certain subjects, changes in behaviour, or signs of anxiety. It can also be helpful to write down what your child has said about their experiences at school, as well as what you’ve noticed at home.

If your child has already been assessed for additional needs (such as SEN, ADHD, dyslexia or anxiety), bring any supporting documents or reports to the meeting. This gives the teacher a clearer picture of your child’s background and requirements.

2. Request a Private Meeting

While quick chats at drop-off or pick-up can be useful for small updates, more in-depth conversations should happen in a private setting. Request a formal meeting at a time that works for both of you, ideally with plenty of notice. This shows that you value the teacher’s time and are serious about working together in your child’s best interests.

3. Use a Collaborative Tone

Approach the conversation as a partnership rather than a complaint. Teachers want the best for your child too, so frame the discussion around working together to support them. Use language such as:“We’ve noticed at home that…”
“I wondered if you’ve observed something similar in the classroom?”
“What strategies have worked in the past?”
“How can we support this from home?”

This tone encourages teamwork and avoids putting the teacher on the defensive.

4. Be Clear, But Empathetic

It’s important to be honest about what your child is struggling with, but also acknowledge the teacher’s perspective. They may be managing a large class with varying needs, and may not always be aware of what’s going on beneath the surface.

Be specific about the support your child may need. Instead of saying “they’re struggling”, you might say, “they find it hard to concentrate for long periods – are there any adjustments that can help with that?” Small changes, like moving a child to a quieter part of the classroom or offering visual reminders, can have a big impact.

5. Follow Up and Keep the Conversation Going

After the meeting, follow up with a quick email thanking the teacher for their time and summarising what was discussed. This reinforces your shared goals and keeps communication open.

Going forward, check in regularly – not just when there’s a problem. A short message to ask how things are going, or to let the teacher know what’s working well, helps build a strong and supportive relationship.

When it comes to your child’s well-being and learning, regular, respectful communication with their teachers is key. By approaching the conversation calmly, clearly and collaboratively, you’ll help create the best possible environment for your child to thrive.

*Collaborative post